The Bag Means Your Mind

A delightful mix of insightful comments and ignorant assumptions about screenwriting... and such.

Tuesday, September 05, 2006

Evil Tom?

In one of my vainglorious moments I decided to google my own name. Being as unique* a name as it is, I can revel in being listed at the top and have to date thwarted no fewer than zero attempts to google bomb my good name. This time, however, I made a startling discovery. While writing my football story during the past year I found the time to write and self-publish a book called Mr. Stick. Don’t believe me? Look at this!

Some fellow by the name of Thomas Crymes has written a book. Could this be my doppelganger? My evil alter ego that I have written about many times (2) before? I wish him well, but have not ruled out the possibility that we will one day do battle in some kind of epic setting. Who am I kidding? If he is as lazy and apathetic as I am we’ll probably say an uncomfortable hello from afar, walk away and tell our respective people that we got the better of the other.

I’m actually thinking about plunking down a fiver and buying this bloke’s book. Maybe you should too. Although I do acknowledge that there might not be room for two Thomas Crymeses (Crymes'? Crymesi?) with a wry sense of humor and a penchant for writing in this world. What will happen? What indeed.

Since Tom (Can I call him that?) has actually published something, even if it is self-published it looks official enough, he has the edge in the contest for now. So for those of you keeping score it is:

Thomas Crymes: 1
Thomas Crymes: 0

We’ll do the shirts/skins thing so you can tell us apart. I’ll be “skins” so I can show off my rippling physique.

*Well, it’s not literally unique as there are more Crymeses out there, but it’s certainly more unique than Smith. And yes I know that “more unique” is analogous to being “a little pregnant” but you know what I mean so please shut the hell up!


  • At 1:37 AM, Blogger Patrick J. Rodio said…

    I'll bet he prefers Thomas. Pretentious cock.

    I like to do an ego surf every now and then and see what the web dredges up. Mostly, my past failures. They just keep slapping me in the fast! Slap! Slap! Slap!

  • At 1:38 AM, Blogger Patrick J. Rodio said…

    Another thought.......what if YOU are the evil twin??????????????????????????????

  • At 8:38 AM, Blogger Ryan Rasmussen said…

    Pat's onto something. The Thomas Crymes I know doesn't have vainglorious moments. And Mr. Stick is said to have "many many zany and idiosyncratic friends." Very suspicious. In any case, when reporting of your (or your doppelganger's adventures) please refrain from using "Crymeses" in a sentence. The Chicago Manual of Style says it's technically okay (cf. rule 7.9), but recommends avoiding such "awkwardness." I trust you or the other guy won't make this mistake again.

  • At 10:08 AM, Blogger L.R. Williams said…

    Pat's right! You could very well be the EVIL twin! Maybe you know, maybe you don't know. As far as you acknowledging not enough room for you & your namesake, you could challenge him to a 'Highlander' fight - where there can be only one! By the way, stick with shirts - trust me on this one!

  • At 1:04 PM, Blogger Thomas Crymes said…

    But how will anyone see my bulging pecks alternately move up and down as if guided by some unseen force?

  • At 1:09 PM, Blogger Thomas Crymes said…

    Pat, I don't think I'm the evil twin because I'm not actively seeking to snuff out the life of the legitimate Crymes.

    I fully expect that Evil Tom is carving a systematic and even handed path of destruction that points directly to my house.

    I will wait, blade at the ready.

  • At 4:34 PM, Blogger L.R. Williams said…

    The shirt adds an affect & besides, while you & your namesake are fighting, when his sword is coming in your direction, would you rather have it go through your shirt or your flesh first? Are you really going to be concerned about your 'bulging pecks' when you have a chunk taken out of your ass?

  • At 12:35 AM, Blogger Patrick J. Rodio said…

    I'm confused now. Which Tom is this?

  • At 9:07 AM, Blogger L.R. Williams said…

    It's the Tom we know. It's not the pretentious cock you referred to earlier.

  • At 10:04 PM, Blogger Thomas Crymes said…

    Or am I?

  • At 6:09 PM, Blogger .......Not avaliable said…

    Im his sister, he goes by tj and he is an awesome writer. U r the evil twin and HE is the best brother ever


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